A new 4 mos old baby began at E's school this week. I watched her mother try and change her diaper for what must have been ten minutes. She was frantically searching for her wipes. I explained to her that they are community wipes. You bring a pack or two each month and they just use them all --on everyone. Everyone has their own diapers but wipes all go into one community drawer. She was panicked at the thought of some other person's less awesome wipe being used on her daughter so she had a heart to heart with the teacher about it.
I'm not writing this to diss that mom, it's more about...wow...how far I've come. How different it is with the second. I quit my full time job and became a stay at home mom b/c when I picked Henry up from his school one day I found out they'd actually given him a bottle of formula by mistake (well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back). So, I totally know where that mother is coming from but I am so so glad to not be her anymore.
I am still annoying, to be sure. I am constantly waffling about should I get Eleanor a nanny (it would actually be cheaper) or keep her at her school. I interviewed 17 women and screened 70 applications for a nanny job I posted and I still could not settle on someone. I am probably just going to keep her at her school. I am completely solid on Henry's school. I have never looked back. I could not be happier about that place and Henry feels the same way. I am completely solid on my career. I am so happy I found "my calling" in life and I never waffle on career choice. I am so happy about who I married. I never waffle on that, either (we share politics, religion, music, books, movies, parenting, Midwestern childhoods, and high school--what more can you ask for in a mate?) but I have waffled on who should watch Eleanor for the 12 hours a week both of us are at work, since she was 2 mos old. If I was my therapist I would ask myself what's the payoff? I dunno. Guilt about working?
Double sigh.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Well, there goes Harvard...
A new 4 mos old baby began at E's school this week. I watched her mother try and change her diaper for what must have been ten minutes. She was frantically searching for her wipes. I explained to her that they are community wipes. You bring a pack or two each month and they just use them all --on everyone. Everyone has their own diapers but wipes all go into one community drawer. She was panicked at the thought of some other person's less awesome wipe being used on her daughter so she had a heart to heart with the teacher about it.
I'm not writing this to diss that mom, it's more about...wow...how far I've come. How different it is with the second. I quit my full time job and became a stay at home mom b/c when I picked Henry up from his school one day I found out they'd actually given him a bottle of formula by mistake (well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back). So, I totally know where that mother is coming from but I am so so glad to not be her anymore.
I am still annoying, to be sure. I am constantly waffling about should I get Eleanor a nanny (it would actually be cheaper) or keep her at her school. I interviewed 17 women and screened 70 applications for a nanny job I posted and I still could not settle on someone. I am probably just going to keep her at her school. I am completely solid on Henry's school. I have never looked back. I could not be happier about that place and Henry feels the same way. I am completely solid on my career. I am so happy I found "my calling" in life and I never waffle on career choice. I am so happy about who I married. I never waffle on that, either (we share politics, religion, music, books, movies, parenting, Midwestern childhoods, and high school--what more can you ask for in a mate?) but I have waffled on who should watch Eleanor for the 12 hours a week both of us are at work, since she was 2 mos old. If I was my therapist I would ask myself what's the payoff? I dunno. Guilt about working?
Double sigh.
I'm not writing this to diss that mom, it's more about...wow...how far I've come. How different it is with the second. I quit my full time job and became a stay at home mom b/c when I picked Henry up from his school one day I found out they'd actually given him a bottle of formula by mistake (well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back). So, I totally know where that mother is coming from but I am so so glad to not be her anymore.
I am still annoying, to be sure. I am constantly waffling about should I get Eleanor a nanny (it would actually be cheaper) or keep her at her school. I interviewed 17 women and screened 70 applications for a nanny job I posted and I still could not settle on someone. I am probably just going to keep her at her school. I am completely solid on Henry's school. I have never looked back. I could not be happier about that place and Henry feels the same way. I am completely solid on my career. I am so happy I found "my calling" in life and I never waffle on career choice. I am so happy about who I married. I never waffle on that, either (we share politics, religion, music, books, movies, parenting, Midwestern childhoods, and high school--what more can you ask for in a mate?) but I have waffled on who should watch Eleanor for the 12 hours a week both of us are at work, since she was 2 mos old. If I was my therapist I would ask myself what's the payoff? I dunno. Guilt about working?
Double sigh.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
A really great day...
October 13th marks one of many different milestones in our relationship. Over the years, and after two children, most of these get marked with a brief mention, a few nice moments of reflection, and then back to the arduous task of keeping our sanity. I expected nothing more yesterday. What I got was an incredible reminder of what this is all about.
Henry, as you know, has become enamored with Silly Bandz. When I got to his school yesterday afternoon, I was immediately greeted by a beaming child with a completely bandz-less arm raised toward me shouting, “I don’t have any more Silly Bandz.” For days he had been wearing what amounts to three packages worth (minus the VERY few he gave away) and those accumulated from the classmates willing to part with some of theirs. “I gave them to everyone in my class.” I looked at the circle of children smiling…listening to their teacher reading a book. They were all wearing Silly Bandz. Henry had a solitary brown one on his arm that Quinn, his very sweet classmate, had given him “because [he] was nice to her.”
I was proud of him. Really proud. All I could think about was getting more bandz™. I remembered that we drive right by Bed, Bath & Beyond on the way to Eleanor’s school. The only reason I thought of that place is because it's pretty much where the bandz all began for us. Henry spent a few weeks coveting Vinny’s collection before Diane saw a giant sign in front of B,B&B that said “WE’VE GOT SILLY BANDZ!” So, Henry and I quickly ran into the store to find some replacements. On the way, Henry started penning the letter he wanted to write to Quinn, unannounced and unprecedented:
“I want to write Quinn a letter. It says, “Dear Quinn, Thank you for being nice.”
When I told Diane this story, she teared up. What seems like a silly gesture is very profound for our three year old who recently went from being the sole existing most important thing on this planet for us to the older one who needs to stop shouting at his sister and be a good listener. He loved those bandz. And he gave them all away.
I finally got mine last night…. after Diane, his entire class, and the various random children at playgrounds and farmer’s markets across this town. I didn’t really earn it, since he overheard me telling Diane I still didn’t have one. He walked in from the other room and nonchalantly said, “You can have one, Dad.” He was clearly oblivious to the snub. Mine is a yellow ship, I think… given to him by someone else. I love it. It is a great reminder of why we had children. And it is a great milestone marker for how far we have come.
Last night as Diane and I were going to bed, we talked about what it means to be parents and how our lives have changed. We talked about our friends who have children, those who just had them…or who are about to…and what that means. I consider myself very fortunate to have had children at a stage in my life when I could appreciate the fact that I am happier and more satisfied when I make the bulk of my decisions for someone else. Not everyone has that opportunity, but I am so thankful I do.
A really great day...
October 13th marks one of many different milestones in our relationship. Over the years, and after two children, most of these get marked with a brief mention, a few nice moments of reflection, and then back to the arduous task of keeping our sanity. I expected nothing more yesterday. What I got was an incredible reminder of what this is all about.
Henry, as you know, has become enamored with Silly Bandz. When I got to his school yesterday afternoon, I was immediately greeted by a beaming child with a completely bandz-less arm raised toward me shouting, “I don’t have any more Silly Bandz.” For days he had been wearing what amounts to three packages worth (minus the VERY few he gave away) and those accumulated from the classmates willing to part with some of theirs. “I gave them to everyone in my class.” I looked at the circle of children smiling…listening to their teacher reading a book. They were all wearing Silly Bandz. Henry had a solitary brown one on his arm that Quinn, his very sweet classmate, had given him “because [he] was nice to her.”
I was proud of him. Really proud. All I could think about was getting more bandz™. I remembered that we drive right by Bed, Bath & Beyond on the way to Eleanor’s school. The only reason I thought of that place is because it's pretty much where the bandz all began for us. Henry spent a few weeks coveting Vinny’s collection before Diane saw a giant sign in front of B,B&B that said “WE’VE GOT SILLY BANDZ!” So, Henry and I quickly ran into the store to find some replacements. On the way, Henry started penning the letter he wanted to write to Quinn, unannounced and unprecedented:
“I want to write Quinn a letter. It says, “Dear Quinn, Thank you for being nice.”
When I told Diane this story, she teared up. What seems like a silly gesture is very profound for our three year old who recently went from being the sole existing most important thing on this planet for us to the older one who needs to stop shouting at his sister and be a good listener. He loved those bandz. And he gave them all away.
I finally got mine last night…. after Diane, his entire class, and the various random children at playgrounds and farmer’s markets across this town. I didn’t really earn it, since he overheard me telling Diane I still didn’t have one. He walked in from the other room and nonchalantly said, “You can have one, Dad.” He was clearly oblivious to the snub. Mine is a yellow ship, I think… given to him by someone else. I love it. It is a great reminder of why we had children. And it is a great milestone marker for how far we have come.
Last night as Diane and I were going to bed, we talked about what it means to be parents and how our lives have changed. We talked about our friends who have children, those who just had them…or who are about to…and what that means. I consider myself very fortunate to have had children at a stage in my life when I could appreciate the fact that I am happier and more satisfied when I make the bulk of my decisions for someone else. Not everyone has that opportunity, but I am so thankful I do.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The goings on...REVISED more positive version
Eleanor is not crawling but she scoots and inchworms to get where she needs to go. This has made her a much happier baby. Eleanor has no teeth but can eat anything. Eleanor "talks" non-stop and laughs very easily.
Henry has two best friends at school, Silas and Vinny. He now only plays with them, I think. I asked the teacher about this "triangle" and she says Henry is the pawn, meaning Silas and Vinny are like brothers because they live next door to each other and their parents are friends, and so they are constantly fighting and trying to use Henry to gang up on the other. Awesome.
Henry's thing lately is silly bandz. A teacher at his school had them and gave some to the kids and then they just spread like wildfire. I think it's a teenager or pre-teen thing too. I see lots of kids at my work with them. Henry wears 20 of them on one wrist and based on his approval, he might give you one. I have a purple one. It took me over a week to earn it. Last week we went to a park and he found a girl he liked and offered her one. I'm not entirely sure how much English she spoke, or how much she cared about his silly bandz, but it was a big deal for him to give her that. Then we went to our local farm for eggs on Saturday and he was playing with a little girl, having a very nice time, but when she asked for one he flat out denied her. I guess it must be bestowed and not asked for, who knows. (He gave her one when we had to leave).
Henry's grasp of English continues to surprise and amuse us. It's like when a foreigner speaks English but says something that makes sense but no native speaker would ever say. For instance, "My blanket is not cooperating!" He was very irritated last week when he was watching his morning cartoons and yelled to me in the kitchen, "My back is not comfy!" He sits on the floor but has not yet discovered the art of piling up lots of pillows, but I think we just need to get him a little bean bag.
Sometimes Henry is ridiculously sweet to his sister. Almost anything he does makes her laugh, which endears him to her, but her screaming and grabbiness detracts as well. But this morning he was all about entertaining her and when he left the room, she yelled for him and he said right back, "I'm coming sweetie" and then he came right back and gave her a kiss and a gentle pat on the head. She was beaming again.
Henry has two best friends at school, Silas and Vinny. He now only plays with them, I think. I asked the teacher about this "triangle" and she says Henry is the pawn, meaning Silas and Vinny are like brothers because they live next door to each other and their parents are friends, and so they are constantly fighting and trying to use Henry to gang up on the other. Awesome.
Henry's thing lately is silly bandz. A teacher at his school had them and gave some to the kids and then they just spread like wildfire. I think it's a teenager or pre-teen thing too. I see lots of kids at my work with them. Henry wears 20 of them on one wrist and based on his approval, he might give you one. I have a purple one. It took me over a week to earn it. Last week we went to a park and he found a girl he liked and offered her one. I'm not entirely sure how much English she spoke, or how much she cared about his silly bandz, but it was a big deal for him to give her that. Then we went to our local farm for eggs on Saturday and he was playing with a little girl, having a very nice time, but when she asked for one he flat out denied her. I guess it must be bestowed and not asked for, who knows. (He gave her one when we had to leave).
Henry's grasp of English continues to surprise and amuse us. It's like when a foreigner speaks English but says something that makes sense but no native speaker would ever say. For instance, "My blanket is not cooperating!" He was very irritated last week when he was watching his morning cartoons and yelled to me in the kitchen, "My back is not comfy!" He sits on the floor but has not yet discovered the art of piling up lots of pillows, but I think we just need to get him a little bean bag.
Sometimes Henry is ridiculously sweet to his sister. Almost anything he does makes her laugh, which endears him to her, but her screaming and grabbiness detracts as well. But this morning he was all about entertaining her and when he left the room, she yelled for him and he said right back, "I'm coming sweetie" and then he came right back and gave her a kiss and a gentle pat on the head. She was beaming again.
The goings on...REVISED more positive version
Eleanor is not crawling but she scoots and inchworms to get where she needs to go. This has made her a much happier baby. Eleanor has no teeth but can eat anything. Eleanor "talks" non-stop and laughs very easily.
Henry has two best friends at school, Silas and Vinny. He now only plays with them, I think. I asked the teacher about this "triangle" and she says Henry is the pawn, meaning Silas and Vinny are like brothers because they live next door to each other and their parents are friends, and so they are constantly fighting and trying to use Henry to gang up on the other. Awesome.
Henry's thing lately is silly bandz. A teacher at his school had them and gave some to the kids and then they just spread like wildfire. I think it's a teenager or pre-teen thing too. I see lots of kids at my work with them. Henry wears 20 of them on one wrist and based on his approval, he might give you one. I have a purple one. It took me over a week to earn it. Last week we went to a park and he found a girl he liked and offered her one. I'm not entirely sure how much English she spoke, or how much she cared about his silly bandz, but it was a big deal for him to give her that. Then we went to our local farm for eggs on Saturday and he was playing with a little girl, having a very nice time, but when she asked for one he flat out denied her. I guess it must be bestowed and not asked for, who knows. (He gave her one when we had to leave).
Henry's grasp of English continues to surprise and amuse us. It's like when a foreigner speaks English but says something that makes sense but no native speaker would ever say. For instance, "My blanket is not cooperating!" He was very irritated last week when he was watching his morning cartoons and yelled to me in the kitchen, "My back is not comfy!" He sits on the floor but has not yet discovered the art of piling up lots of pillows, but I think we just need to get him a little bean bag.
Sometimes Henry is ridiculously sweet to his sister. Almost anything he does makes her laugh, which endears him to her, but her screaming and grabbiness detracts as well. But this morning he was all about entertaining her and when he left the room, she yelled for him and he said right back, "I'm coming sweetie" and then he came right back and gave her a kiss and a gentle pat on the head. She was beaming again.
Henry has two best friends at school, Silas and Vinny. He now only plays with them, I think. I asked the teacher about this "triangle" and she says Henry is the pawn, meaning Silas and Vinny are like brothers because they live next door to each other and their parents are friends, and so they are constantly fighting and trying to use Henry to gang up on the other. Awesome.
Henry's thing lately is silly bandz. A teacher at his school had them and gave some to the kids and then they just spread like wildfire. I think it's a teenager or pre-teen thing too. I see lots of kids at my work with them. Henry wears 20 of them on one wrist and based on his approval, he might give you one. I have a purple one. It took me over a week to earn it. Last week we went to a park and he found a girl he liked and offered her one. I'm not entirely sure how much English she spoke, or how much she cared about his silly bandz, but it was a big deal for him to give her that. Then we went to our local farm for eggs on Saturday and he was playing with a little girl, having a very nice time, but when she asked for one he flat out denied her. I guess it must be bestowed and not asked for, who knows. (He gave her one when we had to leave).
Henry's grasp of English continues to surprise and amuse us. It's like when a foreigner speaks English but says something that makes sense but no native speaker would ever say. For instance, "My blanket is not cooperating!" He was very irritated last week when he was watching his morning cartoons and yelled to me in the kitchen, "My back is not comfy!" He sits on the floor but has not yet discovered the art of piling up lots of pillows, but I think we just need to get him a little bean bag.
Sometimes Henry is ridiculously sweet to his sister. Almost anything he does makes her laugh, which endears him to her, but her screaming and grabbiness detracts as well. But this morning he was all about entertaining her and when he left the room, she yelled for him and he said right back, "I'm coming sweetie" and then he came right back and gave her a kiss and a gentle pat on the head. She was beaming again.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
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