This is Halloween: Part I

This is Halloween: Part I

Henry and Mae go to Marble Falls

My friend Sarah and I decided to take the kids out to Sweet Berry farm on Wednesday. We wanted to take pictures of them in the pumpkin patch and see the animals etc. but when we got there it was closed:( Luckily Sarah knew the area well enough to find this park by the water.

The kids had a great time playing on the huge play scape and we had a really nice picnic. The weather could not have been more perfect. It turned out to be a really nice trip and on the way home the kids crashed (see below). Note:Henry only has a pacifier for naps...don't judge me;-)

Henry and Mae go to Marble Falls

My friend Sarah and I decided to take the kids out to Sweet Berry farm on Wednesday. We wanted to take pictures of them in the pumpkin patch and see the animals etc. but when we got there it was closed:( Luckily Sarah knew the area well enough to find this park by the water.

The kids had a great time playing on the huge play scape and we had a really nice picnic. The weather could not have been more perfect. It turned out to be a really nice trip and on the way home the kids crashed (see below). Note:Henry only has a pacifier for naps...don't judge me;-)

Henry and Mae hold hands in the car

Henry and Mae spent a total of two hours in the car together on Wednesday. I happened to turn around to look at the kids and saw they were holding hands! I got out my cell phone and shot this footage and it's not nearly as cute as what I originally saw but it's still pretty dang cute.

Henry and Mae hold hands in the car

Henry and Mae spent a total of two hours in the car together on Wednesday. I happened to turn around to look at the kids and saw they were holding hands! I got out my cell phone and shot this footage and it's not nearly as cute as what I originally saw but it's still pretty dang cute.

Fire Station Festival

Fire Station Festival

Dinoworld!

Dinoworld!

Lowell had a Halloween party

Lowell had a Halloween party

He's for sticks, dogs, dinosaurs and Obama

He's for sticks, dogs, dinosaurs and Obama

Two great articles about loving a son

here

and

here

Even though the details are different, my feelings about Henry are the same as these moms feelings about their boys. Both made my mouth drop open and my eyes tear up with recognition. I wish I could write as well as either of these women, but I'm so glad to read about others who're insanely and unapologetically in love.

Two great articles about loving a son

here

and

here

Even though the details are different, my feelings about Henry are the same as these moms feelings about their boys. Both made my mouth drop open and my eyes tear up with recognition. I wish I could write as well as either of these women, but I'm so glad to read about others who're insanely and unapologetically in love.

We went over to Uncle Karl's...

and Henry ate his first chocolate chip cookie ever.
Then he went down the slide in the backyard...
and then he spied on the neighbors.

We went over to Uncle Karl's...

and Henry ate his first chocolate chip cookie ever.
Then he went down the slide in the backyard...
and then he spied on the neighbors.

17 months

I am a day late on this report but that's because everyone in my family decided to throw up a lot over the last few days. Henry has been vomit free now for over 30 hours so the coast is clear but Justin is still on the mend.

Here's a few images over the last 72 hours:

Henry waking at 8:30 PM crying, we go in and dinner is floating all over his crib and on him

Justin taking a bath with Henry to get the vomit off and Henry pukes about 4 more times all over daddy. Daddy holds him and sooths him till it's all over. Daddy wins medal of honor.

Daddy gets puked on again in the laundry room--this time all down his back.

Daddy knocks over and smashes mommy's favorite lens in the world. The prized Canon 50 mm. We all try not to cry.

We finally all go to bed around 2 or 3AM when the vomit party is over.

Daddy wakes up very ill and mommy takes Henry to the grocery store with her to get jello, rice, bananas, crackers, popsicles etc. and realizes at the check out that she must have left her wallet in the car. Mommy and Henry run out to the car in the pouring rain and look for it. Can't find it anywhere so mommy and a very tired Henry wait in line at customer service to see if anyone turned it in. They did (Yay for good people!) and then we wait in the now very long line again to pay for the groceries.

Okay, 17 Months:

Henry has been sick 3 times in the last month (he first developed a cold on the airplane ride to VA, was sick with a cold there and then began to get better and then the day we got back he had a high fever that lasted days--so I count that as two separate illnesses) but sleep has been totally erratic. This is by far the most sickness we've had to deal with. He still has never had to take antibiotics so that's good, but I am pretty exhausted from all this missed sleep and fussiness related to not feeling well.

Before I had Henry I used to think kids who "stay at home" aren't as exposed to germs as much as daycare kids but that is soooooo incorrect. Henry goes to the children's museum, Family Connections, music class, grocery stores, library's, many different friends houses etc. each week. He is exposed to way more children and germs and so he gets sick just as often as a child in daycare, if not more.

As for eating, I've experimented more with giving Henry cow's milk and he no longer gets a rash but since he's been sick so much it's hard to tell if any of this is allergy related or not. I am going to put a hold on milk until he's been healthy for at least a week and then see if something happens. Otherwise, food is still consumed by him in mass quantities.

Henry now says a lot of words. I haven't counted them but new ones spring up out of the blue. Monday he started saying "mine" (great...) and he appears to know colors. He has a piano with different colored keys and if I say "press the yellow key" he does it. I taught him colors pretty easily. He has this ring toss with different colored rings and I would say the name of each color as we tossed it. It only took about a few days before he figured it out--but I've been saying color names since he was a newborn.

Signs come a lot easier to him now too. You can show him a sign for an animal or whatever and after you do it a couple times he catches on. We try to accompany signs with sounds and that adds an extra bit of fun to the process. Elephant is hilarious.

Henry began playing with Justin's Star Wars guys this month. It's really cute to see him run around with stormtroopers. He walks them on the floor, the cat, the couch. And if you give him something long and pointy he runs around with it like it's a sword. He holds it up high and jabs and twists it. I have no idea where he got that from. He's not seen much TV and I'm pretty sure the bits of Sesame Street he's seen do not have many sword fights.

We get a lot of hugs and kisses (accompanied with the sound MMMMMMMMMM) now without even asking. That is the world's greatest. And Uncle Karl and Aunt Rachel taught Henry to give bumps. So if any of my mom friend's are reading this, you better teach your kid bumps so you don't leave my son hanging. He likes to give bumps to everybody.

17 months

I am a day late on this report but that's because everyone in my family decided to throw up a lot over the last few days. Henry has been vomit free now for over 30 hours so the coast is clear but Justin is still on the mend.

Here's a few images over the last 72 hours:

Henry waking at 8:30 PM crying, we go in and dinner is floating all over his crib and on him

Justin taking a bath with Henry to get the vomit off and Henry pukes about 4 more times all over daddy. Daddy holds him and sooths him till it's all over. Daddy wins medal of honor.

Daddy gets puked on again in the laundry room--this time all down his back.

Daddy knocks over and smashes mommy's favorite lens in the world. The prized Canon 50 mm. We all try not to cry.

We finally all go to bed around 2 or 3AM when the vomit party is over.

Daddy wakes up very ill and mommy takes Henry to the grocery store with her to get jello, rice, bananas, crackers, popsicles etc. and realizes at the check out that she must have left her wallet in the car. Mommy and Henry run out to the car in the pouring rain and look for it. Can't find it anywhere so mommy and a very tired Henry wait in line at customer service to see if anyone turned it in. They did (Yay for good people!) and then we wait in the now very long line again to pay for the groceries.

Okay, 17 Months:

Henry has been sick 3 times in the last month (he first developed a cold on the airplane ride to VA, was sick with a cold there and then began to get better and then the day we got back he had a high fever that lasted days--so I count that as two separate illnesses) but sleep has been totally erratic. This is by far the most sickness we've had to deal with. He still has never had to take antibiotics so that's good, but I am pretty exhausted from all this missed sleep and fussiness related to not feeling well.

Before I had Henry I used to think kids who "stay at home" aren't as exposed to germs as much as daycare kids but that is soooooo incorrect. Henry goes to the children's museum, Family Connections, music class, grocery stores, library's, many different friends houses etc. each week. He is exposed to way more children and germs and so he gets sick just as often as a child in daycare, if not more.

As for eating, I've experimented more with giving Henry cow's milk and he no longer gets a rash but since he's been sick so much it's hard to tell if any of this is allergy related or not. I am going to put a hold on milk until he's been healthy for at least a week and then see if something happens. Otherwise, food is still consumed by him in mass quantities.

Henry now says a lot of words. I haven't counted them but new ones spring up out of the blue. Monday he started saying "mine" (great...) and he appears to know colors. He has a piano with different colored keys and if I say "press the yellow key" he does it. I taught him colors pretty easily. He has this ring toss with different colored rings and I would say the name of each color as we tossed it. It only took about a few days before he figured it out--but I've been saying color names since he was a newborn.

Signs come a lot easier to him now too. You can show him a sign for an animal or whatever and after you do it a couple times he catches on. We try to accompany signs with sounds and that adds an extra bit of fun to the process. Elephant is hilarious.

Henry began playing with Justin's Star Wars guys this month. It's really cute to see him run around with stormtroopers. He walks them on the floor, the cat, the couch. And if you give him something long and pointy he runs around with it like it's a sword. He holds it up high and jabs and twists it. I have no idea where he got that from. He's not seen much TV and I'm pretty sure the bits of Sesame Street he's seen do not have many sword fights.

We get a lot of hugs and kisses (accompanied with the sound MMMMMMMMMM) now without even asking. That is the world's greatest. And Uncle Karl and Aunt Rachel taught Henry to give bumps. So if any of my mom friend's are reading this, you better teach your kid bumps so you don't leave my son hanging. He likes to give bumps to everybody.

Some thoughts on parenting...

Balance is really the main word that comes to mind when I think of the parenting quality I strive for most. Each day I meet moms and dads from other generations and I think all of us make a lot of assumptions about each other. The assumption that bothers me the most however, is what I call 'guilt by association' parenting. Meaning, if you cloth diaper, you must be a hippy (a culture that annoys me). The same goes with extended breastfeeding or co-sleeping. Another example: if you choose to come up with alternatives to saying “no” all day long to your toddler, you must be a permissive parent with no backbone. Or, if you choose to provide wholesome meals for your child instead of the over-processed, environmentally taxing "kid-food" that's advertised, you're somehow depriving your child of their right to just "be kids". I could not disagree more.

Balance means my son sleeps in his crib but if he is having a hard time because he is sick or teething, he can sleep in bed with me. It means I no longer nurse on demand but because my son is allergic to cow's milk, he can continue to nurse a couple times a day as well as have soy milk. It means sometimes I don't want to throw money away so he can wear the cloth diapers I purchased when he was a newborn, and when I don't feel like washing them anymore he can wear disposables.

Balance also means that we will provide 3 well rounded, sugar-free, whole grain, organic meals a day. But outside of meal times we can have treats too--like going out for ice cream on Saturday afternoons, or eating cookies when friends come over, or there’s a party, holiday, or someone’s made a special treat, or we’re visiting friends or family who do not eat that way etc. It’s all about development (I have a 17 month old not a 5 year old) context (why are we eating this) and whether or not basic nutrition has first been met (is lunch finished before we have that cookie)---or just basic common sense (if he’s drinking plain milk with no problem, why introduce chocolate syrup?). You have such a short window of opportunity to fully control your child’s diet, so why not take advantage and provide the healthiest options out there? They will have plenty of time for the fun stuff later and by then you won’t have much say in the matter anyway.

Since becoming a toddler, Henry has begun to test our new parent-legs. He doesn't want to share his toys and sometimes he throws them. Sometimes he wants to be held and other times he runs from us. Sometimes he eats everything in sight and other times food is as exciting as algebra. Sometimes Henry sleeps 12 hours a night and other times he sleeps 10. Sometimes he takes 2 naps and sometimes 1. It’s all a work in progress and he's not a robot or computer you can program. I try not to get frustrated when he varies from the norm, because he’s growing like crazy—physically and mentally, so things can’t possibly stay the same for very long. I also try not to put him in situations I know he can’t handle, like a nice restaurant, a movie, a football game or a library. Sure, he could do small doses of all those things, but to expect him to behave as long as it would take for an adult to enjoy any of these outings would be unfair. I chose to have him in my life, so I’ve made accommodations. Besides, this is all such a blip in time. I will have plenty of opportunities in the future to do all of the above again.

The same theme of balance also applies for setting limits. I will keep him from harm but not from exploration. I will immediately step in if he or someone else is about to get hurt but for the most part, I try to limit situations that would require me to intervene. I also try to follow through on all of my limits—meaning, I do not set a limit I can not enforce. For example, I saw a man yesterday at Central Market tell his young toddler to sit down (she was standing on a chair but holding on and her much older sibling was next to her) and he repeated himself several times to no avail. She was not going to budge, not even when her brother tried to force her to sit. So the dad and the brother gave up and she continued to stand on the chair. This is not a big deal but it’s an example of not being able to follow through on your limit. Personally, since the child was so young, I wouldn’t have bothered setting that limit since I knew the child was safe and the lesson would be lost on her.

So the options are:

1. Let the child safely explore a situation that would not be appropriate for an older child (picking your battles with a young toddler).
2. Set a limit but give up if it doesn’t work while still maintaining safety

3. Set a limit that results in a power struggle which results in a meltdown with the hope that the child will learn eventually that chairs aren’t for standing on.

I choose A and that’s not to say B and C are wrong, it’s just not my style with my son. It seems like there’s good reason why potty training a young toddler is not encouraged and that’s because they can’t sit still for very long. The same goes for being at a restaurant. Henry is capable of eating his meal fully, and then it’s time to go.

My other reason for picking my battles stems from my experience counseling families with older children. A common trait with families experiencing a lot of problems was parents who could not follow through on consequences (saying their kid is grounded but giving in to the child eventually)—or having chores but not enforcing them etc. I can’t speak for the future because I’ve already gone back on several things I swore I’d never do as a parent (like letting Henry cry it out), but I am always aware of not setting a limit I can’t or am unwilling to enforce, or setting too many limits so that I turn into Charlie Brown’s teacher blah blah blahing all day long.

Anyway, it’s not an all or nothing, always or never thing—this parenting stuff. I try to be flexible and developmentally appropriate. I remind myself that a 1 and a half year old is developmentally different from even a two year old and that my behavioral expectations must be reasonable. Sure, I’d like him not to whine in his car seat, but is he tired, is he hungry, has he been in there more than ten or fifteen minutes---and if the answer is yes to any of that, then it’s my fault he’s upset, not his.

My final point regarding parenting styles is that I think a lot of parenting techniques that were employed in the past were born more out of survival (parent centered) then from a developmental standpoint (child centered). Historically dads didn’t do much around the house or with the children. Moms were on their own and not only did they have to care for the house and the children, they had a lot more to do back then and they had less to do it with (thank you modern conveniences). They did not have cell phones and the internet to keep them connected with the adult world and they did not (generally) have the option to go back to their fabulous career if they wanted to. I honestly don’t think I could have hacked it back then. If Justin didn’t come home everyday at lunch and for good at 4:10—play with Henry, cook dinner and help put him to bed, I too would be a lot stricter and a lot less patient. You’d have to be. Henry would not have been held as much, slept with as much, played with as much etc. etc. There’s no way I could maintain that level of full-time care without Justin’s support and without the escapism of the internet when Henry naps. So for that reason I understand where the previous generation is coming from—I don’t envy the difficult times they parented though and I understand why they used playpens, feeding schedules and spanking, but people’s lives have changed dramatically in the last 20 years and so parenting techniques have adapted.

Thanks for stopping by. Come back again.

Some thoughts on parenting...

Balance is really the main word that comes to mind when I think of the parenting quality I strive for most. Each day I meet moms and dads from other generations and I think all of us make a lot of assumptions about each other. The assumption that bothers me the most however, is what I call 'guilt by association' parenting. Meaning, if you cloth diaper, you must be a hippy (a culture that annoys me). The same goes with extended breastfeeding or co-sleeping. Another example: if you choose to come up with alternatives to saying “no” all day long to your toddler, you must be a permissive parent with no backbone. Or, if you choose to provide wholesome meals for your child instead of the over-processed, environmentally taxing "kid-food" that's advertised, you're somehow depriving your child of their right to just "be kids". I could not disagree more.

Balance means my son sleeps in his crib but if he is having a hard time because he is sick or teething, he can sleep in bed with me. It means I no longer nurse on demand but because my son is allergic to cow's milk, he can continue to nurse a couple times a day as well as have soy milk. It means sometimes I don't want to throw money away so he can wear the cloth diapers I purchased when he was a newborn, and when I don't feel like washing them anymore he can wear disposables.

Balance also means that we will provide 3 well rounded, sugar-free, whole grain, organic meals a day. But outside of meal times we can have treats too--like going out for ice cream on Saturday afternoons, or eating cookies when friends come over, or there’s a party, holiday, or someone’s made a special treat, or we’re visiting friends or family who do not eat that way etc. It’s all about development (I have a 17 month old not a 5 year old) context (why are we eating this) and whether or not basic nutrition has first been met (is lunch finished before we have that cookie)---or just basic common sense (if he’s drinking plain milk with no problem, why introduce chocolate syrup?). You have such a short window of opportunity to fully control your child’s diet, so why not take advantage and provide the healthiest options out there? They will have plenty of time for the fun stuff later and by then you won’t have much say in the matter anyway.

Since becoming a toddler, Henry has begun to test our new parent-legs. He doesn't want to share his toys and sometimes he throws them. Sometimes he wants to be held and other times he runs from us. Sometimes he eats everything in sight and other times food is as exciting as algebra. Sometimes Henry sleeps 12 hours a night and other times he sleeps 10. Sometimes he takes 2 naps and sometimes 1. It’s all a work in progress and he's not a robot or computer you can program. I try not to get frustrated when he varies from the norm, because he’s growing like crazy—physically and mentally, so things can’t possibly stay the same for very long. I also try not to put him in situations I know he can’t handle, like a nice restaurant, a movie, a football game or a library. Sure, he could do small doses of all those things, but to expect him to behave as long as it would take for an adult to enjoy any of these outings would be unfair. I chose to have him in my life, so I’ve made accommodations. Besides, this is all such a blip in time. I will have plenty of opportunities in the future to do all of the above again.

The same theme of balance also applies for setting limits. I will keep him from harm but not from exploration. I will immediately step in if he or someone else is about to get hurt but for the most part, I try to limit situations that would require me to intervene. I also try to follow through on all of my limits—meaning, I do not set a limit I can not enforce. For example, I saw a man yesterday at Central Market tell his young toddler to sit down (she was standing on a chair but holding on and her much older sibling was next to her) and he repeated himself several times to no avail. She was not going to budge, not even when her brother tried to force her to sit. So the dad and the brother gave up and she continued to stand on the chair. This is not a big deal but it’s an example of not being able to follow through on your limit. Personally, since the child was so young, I wouldn’t have bothered setting that limit since I knew the child was safe and the lesson would be lost on her.

So the options are:

1. Let the child safely explore a situation that would not be appropriate for an older child (picking your battles with a young toddler).
2. Set a limit but give up if it doesn’t work while still maintaining safety

3. Set a limit that results in a power struggle which results in a meltdown with the hope that the child will learn eventually that chairs aren’t for standing on.

I choose A and that’s not to say B and C are wrong, it’s just not my style with my son. It seems like there’s good reason why potty training a young toddler is not encouraged and that’s because they can’t sit still for very long. The same goes for being at a restaurant. Henry is capable of eating his meal fully, and then it’s time to go.

My other reason for picking my battles stems from my experience counseling families with older children. A common trait with families experiencing a lot of problems was parents who could not follow through on consequences (saying their kid is grounded but giving in to the child eventually)—or having chores but not enforcing them etc. I can’t speak for the future because I’ve already gone back on several things I swore I’d never do as a parent (like letting Henry cry it out), but I am always aware of not setting a limit I can’t or am unwilling to enforce, or setting too many limits so that I turn into Charlie Brown’s teacher blah blah blahing all day long.

Anyway, it’s not an all or nothing, always or never thing—this parenting stuff. I try to be flexible and developmentally appropriate. I remind myself that a 1 and a half year old is developmentally different from even a two year old and that my behavioral expectations must be reasonable. Sure, I’d like him not to whine in his car seat, but is he tired, is he hungry, has he been in there more than ten or fifteen minutes---and if the answer is yes to any of that, then it’s my fault he’s upset, not his.

My final point regarding parenting styles is that I think a lot of parenting techniques that were employed in the past were born more out of survival (parent centered) then from a developmental standpoint (child centered). Historically dads didn’t do much around the house or with the children. Moms were on their own and not only did they have to care for the house and the children, they had a lot more to do back then and they had less to do it with (thank you modern conveniences). They did not have cell phones and the internet to keep them connected with the adult world and they did not (generally) have the option to go back to their fabulous career if they wanted to. I honestly don’t think I could have hacked it back then. If Justin didn’t come home everyday at lunch and for good at 4:10—play with Henry, cook dinner and help put him to bed, I too would be a lot stricter and a lot less patient. You’d have to be. Henry would not have been held as much, slept with as much, played with as much etc. etc. There’s no way I could maintain that level of full-time care without Justin’s support and without the escapism of the internet when Henry naps. So for that reason I understand where the previous generation is coming from—I don’t envy the difficult times they parented though and I understand why they used playpens, feeding schedules and spanking, but people’s lives have changed dramatically in the last 20 years and so parenting techniques have adapted.

Thanks for stopping by. Come back again.

The final installment of farm photos

Henry ate a lot of profits (esp. tomatoes). My favorite was when he ate raw bok choy.Attila takes a break with Ruby

Henry takes a break

Henry oversees Ruby's diaper change

I just thought this was a cool chicken.

Shawna's house (background) and the Blue Ridge Center (foreground).

Shawna and Ruby are pretty.

The End.