What the...

Here's two weird guy stories and one parenting woe-is-me story.

1. A really old man ( hoary if your studying for your GRE) was sitting at an outdoor table behind us at Central market. We (Henry, Eleanor and I) were eating tacos and he was reading a book and throwing food at the grackles. Eventually we became surrounded by grackles, which is a problem at CM and why they ask you not to feed the birds. Henry has a particular obsession with scaring birds and loves to roar and run after them. This hoary man who looked (and sounded) like someone cast in a holocaust film barked, "Vy don't ju be nice to za birds?" which caused Henry to collapse onto the ground and sob uncontrollably. I did my "That made you really sad when the man asked you to be nice to the birds" and he did his "Yeeeeeeeahhhhh" and then he stood up and was all better again. We finished our tacos and I got E out of her high chair and put her back in my Ergo carrier but not before giving her a few kisses and the man said, "I sink you love her too much!"

2. The house across the street is occupied by an older woman and her adult son. They are ridiculously friendly. Very very nice people. The sort who you give your name to and they never forget it and always say it when they see you ("Nice day, isn't it Diane?"). Well, I was returning home from dropping Henry off at school the other day and as I was getting Eleanor out of her car seat, I heard the son across the street say something to me. It sounded like he said, "Do you like being lean, Diane?" Because I have long suspected this man was MR (high functioning, think Forest Gump) it would not have surprised me if this was his question, and because I was wearing a new shirt that was quite flattering (if I do say so) I said, "Yes" with a large, amiable grin on my face. Then, it got very very quiet. Awkwardly quiet. I said, "What was that?" and he popped up up from underneath his car and said, "You like being mean? I didn't think ya'll were those kind of people." "Excuse me?" I was completely and totally dumbstruck. I was standing on my lawn with Eleanor, wondering where the cameras were, and then he said, "I don't wish to discuss this!" and he threw his wrench on the ground and turned and went into his house, slamming the door behind him. I stood on the lawn staring at his house wondering what in gods name just happened.

The mother came over later and talked to me (Justin came home from work and went over there to see what the heck) and she told us that he was a paranoid schizophrenic w/ bipolar disorder and was in the midst of a 3 day manic episode.

3. There are 15 kids in Henry's class. Seven of the children are boys. One of these boys is a hitter while the other 14 are sweet as could be. Henry likes this boy a lot and spends a lot of time playing with him, but he gets tired of being hit by him and asked me if I would ask his teacher if this boy could go to another class. This makes my inner mama-bear come out in full force but I don't really know what to do about it. Leave it alone--he's gotta learn how to navigate this stuff (might be too early for that)? Talk to the teacher(s)? Talk to the parents? Teach Henry karate? It's not even really fair--this boy is massive for his age and since he's a year older, he's like a head taller. I really just want to call the parents but how awful would that feel (for them) and how dumb would I probably sound? (very)