A new 4 mos old baby began at E's school this week. I watched her mother try and change her diaper for what must have been ten minutes. She was frantically searching for her wipes. I explained to her that they are community wipes. You bring a pack or two each month and they just use them all --on everyone. Everyone has their own diapers but wipes all go into one community drawer. She was panicked at the thought of some other person's less awesome wipe being used on her daughter so she had a heart to heart with the teacher about it.
I'm not writing this to diss that mom, it's more about...wow...how far I've come. How different it is with the second. I quit my full time job and became a stay at home mom b/c when I picked Henry up from his school one day I found out they'd actually given him a bottle of formula by mistake (well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back). So, I totally know where that mother is coming from but I am so so glad to not be her anymore.
I am still annoying, to be sure. I am constantly waffling about should I get Eleanor a nanny (it would actually be cheaper) or keep her at her school. I interviewed 17 women and screened 70 applications for a nanny job I posted and I still could not settle on someone. I am probably just going to keep her at her school. I am completely solid on Henry's school. I have never looked back. I could not be happier about that place and Henry feels the same way. I am completely solid on my career. I am so happy I found "my calling" in life and I never waffle on career choice. I am so happy about who I married. I never waffle on that, either (we share politics, religion, music, books, movies, parenting, Midwestern childhoods, and high school--what more can you ask for in a mate?) but I have waffled on who should watch Eleanor for the 12 hours a week both of us are at work, since she was 2 mos old. If I was my therapist I would ask myself what's the payoff? I dunno. Guilt about working?
Double sigh.
I understand your situation. While have not been there myself...I find my self wondering how and if I will get back to working. We can not afford outside care for Madison. I am barely able to commit to 1 class next semester. I will have to take it at night and can only afford one class. I will have to get my degree before I will make enough money to make it worth working. I am looking into Fin. Aid. But am sure Justin makes too much but will try anyway.
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