Friday, 20th, I went to a regularly scheduled OB appointment at 10:30. My doctor checked me and I was 3 cm. She said it would probably be 2-4 more days. I predicted Tuesday (I was right!). I went to work and began feeling contractions. Not painful, but uncomfortable. I had not been feeling any braxton hicks contractions (I was having them but I never felt them, just like last time with Henry). I had several reports to write at work and I was plowing away at them. But then I started to get so uncomfortable I could not concentrate and I had to call it a day, knowing that I would probably not finish my reports before my maternity leave--which is not the greatest but I have an understanding boss. I wrapped up very well with my clients but didn't save enough time at the end to wrap up their files--but it doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of life:-) So, I went home and had dinner with Henry and Justin and we went to bed.
I had contractions all night and worried I would go into labor before my mother in law would get here. I made arrangements for a friend to come over but she lives so far south I would have hated to get her out of bed for a false alarm. I was not in agony or anything. I made it through the night and by Saturday afternoon, Justin's mom was here and we were very relaxed after that. All I remember about Saturday is we all went to Phil's ice-house and Henry and I ate sugar free vanilla frozen yogurt (blech), and played on the playground. That evening I was again wondering if I would go into labor. But the next morning, I was still pregnant. My contractions were uncomfortable all through the night, but not unbearable. Sleep was pretty shoddy. Sunday we went to Zilker park and Henry and daddy rode the train and played on the playground, Paula walked her dog, and I walked along the train tracks. Contractions became much stronger but not agony. Sunday night, much of the same....bad sleep, lots of uncomfortable contractions, but not super painful. Monday morning I dropped Henry off at school, went grocery shopping, bought a humidifier and went to the doctor for an ultrasound at 11:30 (this was my first in months and she just wanted to be extra sure about the "environment" in my uterus), then I went to central market to eat some soup on the bench and watch people for 45 min, and then I went back to the doctor for my 1:00 doc appointment. I was then 4cm. She said it would be "tonight or tomorrow". I left her office with a very big smile on my face. It was warm and sunny and I knew these would be the last few hours of alone time for me. I then swung by and picked Henry up at school. He was still napping. I curled up next to him on his mat when he woke and he was happy to see me and gave me smiles and kisses. We went home and Justin made a nice stir-fry. We put Henry to bed and then we followed.
At midnight, exactly, my eyes popped open. My contractions woke me up and I told Justin to put some very specific songs on my IPOD. I am slightly embarrassed by the music I desperately wanted to hear...and I have NO IDEA where this desire came from, but Eisley. A band from East TX of brothers and sisters...it's a female lead singer. I was just laying there in pain and hearing her voice in my head and I needed to hear that record IMMEDIATELY. Justin couldn't find it to dump on the IPOD so I said "get it off the internet" and then I wanted Morrissey and the Cure. He also got me Band of Horses and Sufjan Stevens. For whatever reason I wanted moany, ethereal ballad music. I guess because labor is a pretty moany ethereal ballad...if you think about it.
So when the contractions would come I would blast the IPOD in my earphones and hum very very loudly. But it wasn't a hum to the music it was an "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" and it reverberated all over me and I pictured my cervix opening and the baby going through it and I would mentally say to myself "Push push push" even though we were not pushing, but I was trying to mentally urge her to push forward. I was able to do this for about 3 hours and then my umming and music was needing to be louder and louder so I knew it was time to go to the hospital. I got in the shower and then got dressed and so did Justin. The drive to the hospital was nice. Dark, quiet, exciting. I had one contraction in the car...so not too bad (we live really close). When we got out of the car I had another one in the garage and I just remember a lady walking by and asking if we needed a wheel chair. I leaned on Justin and ummed through it. We got to the check-in and it took way too long and I had to pace and it was bright and I had to answer a lot of tedious questions and it felt miserable b/c I was having contractions right there in the hallway and it just felt awful to be there.
We got to our room and it was the same room I gave birth to Henry in (262). By that point it was 3:00AM or 3:30. My labor pains were very different this time compared to what I experienced with Henry. Henry-labor was all in my lower back. The doula and Justin had to take turns using counter pressure on my lower back for hours to alleviate the agony, but this was not in my back at all. It was all in my lower abdomen. It was the same area where you'd feel gas or menstrual cramps. I didn't want Justin to touch my back and there was really not a whole lot he could do for me b/c I didn't even really want to be touched. I just wanted to go in my cave and ummmmm. Another weirdly different aspect of this labor was all I wanted to do was lay down and curl up in a fetal position. I just remember with Henry that laying down was AGONY. But laying down this time was what I wanted. Walking was good too but made the contractions come quicker.
Around 5 AM I was getting really tired. I had been feeling contractions for almost 4 days. I hadn't slept in days and all I could think about was getting a break. I was done. I had no desire to do more. I didn't even feel like a failure. I didn't care at all about being so close to done or enjoying the satisfaction of going natural. Had I been laboring at home in a tub, with candles and doulas and a midwife, no doubt at all I could have done it. In a bright florescent hospital room with monitors beeping and people coming in and out and a mechanical bed and about 3 sq feet to walk around in, I just didn't have the will. All I wanted was to see my daughter and hold her. At 5:30 the anesthesiologist came in. I got about an hour of relief and then began to feel contractions again. They got strong enough to where the IPOD and umming were whipped out again. The nurse was really annoyed (with the doctor) that I was still in pain and called in another anesthesiologist to re-do it (I did not ask and didn't want another out of fear of being too drugged). But he came in and was also very annoyed by the previous doctor's job, so he re-jiggered and re-taped it and then I got very numb in my legs but still felt my contractions. They became much more intense and I wondered how much more of this I could handle and then the nurse checked me again and said, "You're complete". (As a side note, I'd heard women say their epidurals failed but I feel guilty now saying that I didn't believe them..but now I see...they can fail).
I'd sent Justin home around 6AM b/c I wanted him to be home when Henry woke up and then come back around 9AM. Justin texted me at 8 and said his mom was kicking him out and he was heading back. This was good because I was about to deliver Eleanor any second. Justin walked in the same time as my doctor. She could actually see the top of Eleanor's head before I'd even pushed. Then she told me to push and Eleanor's head came out. Justin told me later the cord was wrapped around her neck and this was why the doctor told me to hold on. Then she told me to push again and out came Eleanor's body. I could feel her slither out all warm and gooey and there she was right in front of me...as blue as a berry. She cried immediately and I had a huge smile on my face remembering the same experience with Henry. Justin was right next to me and we both immediately noticed she had a cleft chin, or as I call it, a hole in her chin, just like Justin's. I totally pictured she would look like him and I was right. They told me she had blond hair but there's nothing blond about it. She is Justin's "mini-me". I immediately loved her and wanted to grab her, spare her from all the poking and prodding she would undergo for the next 24 hrs, and run out the door.
The rest of the story is very much opposite of my experience with Henry. With him I was in the hospital forever (3-4 days), I did not sleep, even for five minutes, I cried constantly, I was terrified and anxious and in a lot of pain. With Eleanor I was in no pain afterwords. I was happy. I never cried. I slept. I felt confident. And, home in a day. My nurse was great, the room was really nice, it was sunny...they didn't poke and prod too much and by 3:00 the next day, our little family went home.
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