Just average...

There's a poem by Sylvia Plath about her son, who recently committed suicide, regarding her wishes that he be...common. And by common, I believe she meant "happy" as opposed to being a tortured genius who sticks their head in an oven. I don't know b/c I can't find the poem yet, I just heard all of the controversy from mothers-blogs about how selfish she was for wishing her son ordinary-ness, but working in the mental health field, I actually really identify with her wishes. All I want for Henry is to be happy and healthy and if that means he's not exceptional (although I think being happy and healthy is exceptional) , then FANTASTIC. I don't want/need him to be a prodigy or genius, especially if it's one concentrated area that excludes interests or pursuits in other areas of his life. For example, a professional athlete who trains/travels year round.

There's a family I am working with right now...I can't say too much b/c it would not be ethical but the parents are very high achieving, upper middle class, and their child goes to an excellent school full of high achieving upper middle class kids. The problem with this kid though--he is average. Without going into it too much, he has some deficits that make it much more challenging for him to follow through on tasks and therefore his grades are just...okay. He's a sweet kid and he tries very hard but his parents feel like if he would only work harder...he could be A. A professional musician B Professional athlete C. Scholar D. Artist....etc. He is in middle school.

I understand not wanting your kid to miss out on things in life (b/c of faulty parenting) but I really feel strongly that if the pressure to perform, excel, achieve, etc. is not internally based (meaning, the pressure is coming from parents/teachers, etc.) it's no good...it will not last, and/or it will not produce a satisfied human-being. That passion has to come from within. If Henry has some burning desire to be a professional athlete, that's gonna have to come from him. The children who show true talent/ability in music, sports, reading, etc., do not get nagged repeatedly to practice. They do it on their own, b/c they love it.